Thursday, September 11, 2014

Fashion 101 or Bums and Boobs

Fashionista?  I think not.

I was at the mall last week, with my daughters.  It seems that a requirement of the preteen to teen sect is to be over-exposed.  Body parts, they were a collection of body parts with shorts that revealed their rear ends and tops that were see-through, mesh or abbreviated in size.  I saw these butts (I mean girls...but honestly, the eyes go RIGHT THERE!) walking together, giggling and whispering as teen girls do.  I wondered, do they know that their butts are exposed?  They have to know, right?  Can you imagine plopping down on the food court chairs, in those ridiculous shorts...your naked butt cheeks resting on those oh so clean plastic chairs where who knows what has been before you plopped down. For goodness sake, toddlers pee on those chairs.  What the heck...old people pee on those chairs too. Yuk!

And while the lack of hygiene is just revolting, where are their mothers for goodness sake?!  AND where are their fathers?!!!

If I had tried to leave the house looking like a streetwalker hoping for a quick sale, my mother would have locked me in a room to wait for...dun, dun, dun....MY FATHER to come home!  Now fear is not necessarily a bad thing in parenting.  The mere thought of my father coming home to confront a pertinent part of my body hanging out of my clothes was enough for me to button up to my chin!

Which brings me back to parenting...and while I'm at it, designers and since I'm on a roll, department store buyers.  What can you all be thinking?

Right now fashions fall into a few categories:
1) Hooker clothes (too small, too short, too see through, too, too...words fail.  Let's not even go into the lingerie department where all those padded bras should be called the 'false advertising' rack. 
2) Exercise clothes-those yoga pants are everywhere.  My generation had something similar, they were called sweat pants. Which brings me back to those disgusting chairs in the food court...people sweat in those chairs...EEEWWWW.
3) The mature woman section with the all too prevalent elastic waistbands and boxy shirts. At least these clothes cover up the saggy bits...thank goodness, because young butts are bad but old saggy butts? I'd have to pluck out my eyes and get a seeing eye dog.
4) The 'you'd better be making a darned good buck because these professional clothes are EXPENSIVE' section.

So I wonder... why do women put up with being judged, graded or in most cases degraded by allowing ourselves to be butts and boobs only?  I say the heck with the designers.  Get lost fashion magazines with your ridiculously photo-shopped pictures.  You want a man to notice you?  Not a pimply faced boy with sweaty palms, but a real man?  Dress like a woman who knows her worth. You are more than your parts!  You (if you choose) are unique and who you are can only be discovered by looking into your soul...can't do that if the eyes are only going to the boobs and butt!

Done ranting for now...


Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Abuela the Mench

My mother was a Cuban Mench.

She was someone that others would go to for advice.  Maria had lots of colloquial sayings that got to the heart of the matter at hand AND put a smile on your face.  Over the years, (with years come wisdom-not that I always believed it..like when I was young and knew it all...and really we're talking about the time before senility sets in...just saying) I have come to realize that people seem to come to me for advice too.  I therefore am a MENCH in the making!

Being a mench is a huge responsibility.  I mean you want to listen carefully and give good advice (and not advice that may get you sued).  So you need a moral compass.  I find that so much of society has a broken compass.  A good compass will guide you through life's little foibles without leaving carnage behind and requiring you to get a really good security system and a German Shepherd named Bruno. Working towards the good and avoiding the bad leads to a good night's sleep and a happy old age, not one full of regrets.  So as I find myself menching (is that a word?) I try to think about how:

A) I can comfort the menchee
B) Tell the truth, even if it is sugar sprinkled
C) Point to the greatest good for all involved.

So I am going to take a Mench's Oath to: Speak Truth, Look for Good and Offer Comfort.  (Not sure why any of that needed to be capitalized but it looks more important that way).

Wish me luck in my menching career!

Tootles!